POINTLESS

Hello Dogs, and dogesses,

Well, heres another friday, full of hope and promise for all worldwide. This is the day that everyone wakes up smiling and dresses whistling, looking forward to 3.45 p.m when the weekend officially starts, knowing that theyre free to do anything they want at night coz tomorrow, we rest…(well, everyone except the seventh day adventists….ouch)

Every human being from Timbuktu to Kazakhstan, from Nairobi to Abidjan, and many other places gets an extra bounce in their steps on fridays….this is fantastic.

So i woke up this morning, waited as usual for the birds to start chirping, then……silence….in 9ja, they dont chirp for shit! Birds have to rush to bar beach to hassle for the worms. You remember the saying “the early bird catches the worm?”, well here in lagos its “the early bird gets first in line for the worm”. Life in lagos is about hassling, even the birds have cartels that own all the worms….either that, or where do all the birds go in the morning….i never hear chirping……as usual, i digress. Anyway, i dressed up, came downstairs, had a glass of WATER for breakfast, and dashed out to head to work.

Guys, i aint changed one bit….i moved house, but i still grab Okada to the office, only now i have my own okada boy. I called him, but the network here is messed up, so I had to walk. I got on an okada, and had to go through the ritual. Let me digress again…….In lagos, the most mistreated part of the boy is the head. The federal govt. has deemed it fit to make all wear a helmet when you “enter” okada. These helmets therefore are shared by the whole 25 million people in Lagos. so heres what you do when you want to “enter” okada

  1. Stand on the roadside and make a kissing sound in the air till an okada man stops near you.
  2. Fight with the man, arm wrestle, tickle fight, measure dick length, till you reach an agreeable price.
  3. “Enter” okada.
  4. Remove hadkerchief, polythene bag. stocking, serviette, newspaper page or anything that you may want to cover your head with.
  5. Wear 4. above on your head.
  6. Wear the helmet that the okada guy gives you…same helmet that was worn by conan, absalom, cain and any other person previously.
  7. Give directions and pray you get there soon

Now, the reason i said the head is most molested, is the one above…you share helmets, they use shoe brushes on your head in the barber shop, the sun hits your head direct injection……BAH!!!

You may or may not see that i’m actually bitter about this. BUT I AM!!!!  To hell with what you think. The reason im bitter is because after all the hassle and itches i got to the office, i saw this headline……

RESEARCHERS FIND CURE FOR HERPES

Researchers say they have developed a cream that might prevent herpes infection for as long as a week — a potentially big step in protecting women from the sexually transmitted infection.

The cream uses a new kind of therapy called RNA interference to turn off genes that the virus uses to invade cells, the researchers reported on Wednesday.

The cream, being developed by Massachusetts-based Alnylam Pharmaceuticals Inc, protected mice from herpes simplex 2, the virus that causes genital herpes………………………………..

These idiots are just promoting unprotected sex, coming up with chemicals that have RNA (what the hell) and they cant come up with a lotion, of a thingi that i can carry out of a pack and put on my head to protect it from UV, Barbers and helmets????? They can make condoms that “cant burst” (are these made by firestone?) and some that have the slogan “power is nothing without control” (pirrelli perhaps?)

i am pissed off. and on that note, i will go into imagine mode for a minute.

imagine if some of these companies made condoms….the slogans would be top notch…..imagine if it was:

  1. Coke condoms Have a condom, and a smile.
  2. Energiser condoms Keeps going and going….
  3. Nokia Condoms, Connecting people
  4. Chicken Republic condoms, Condoms for the masses (what?)
  5. The Punch condoms, The most widely used condoms.
  6. Firestone comdoms, where the rubber meets the broad
  7. Nike Condoms, Just do it
  8. Obama condoms, Yes we can, can we?

There are better things i could be doing with my time. sorry for the intrusion.

Have a great weekend all, and to all, GOOD friday.

By the way what was so GOOD about GOOD FRIDAY? isnt it the day that JESUS died? Why call it good???? They coould have gone with:

  1. Easter friday,
  2. Fateful friday,
  3. Unforgettable friday,
  4. OH MY GOD friday
  5. Greatest denial (peter) friday,
  6. The friday before the miracle,
  7. Freaky friday

Etc. I just dont get the bible. And the day Jesus rises isn’t GOOD MONDAY!!!!! How am i to move on from this????

Enjoy!

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~ by jagedin9ja on January 23, 2009.

3 Responses to “POINTLESS”

  1. i have hahad this post. totally hilarious. i think it may be time to purchase your own helmet. you know, and a leather jacket, cool points for walking into the office holding onto said helmet in addition to the dead cow draped across your shoulders.

  2. Good Friday because without Jesus’ death there would be no Resurrection.Hence the GOOD on Friday and wewe Jesus rose on the Sunday not Monday.

    Have a good weekend too.

  3. so hilarious wish i read it on Friday

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