Nigeria the motherland??

Hi all , Yellow big here, I was wondering, during the Christmas period, down in Nyeri with my folks, ribs on the grill, beer in plenty…..aaahhhh….fresh air..oops i digress… i was wondering, what if Jesus had been born in Lagos? How would it have been? What would christianity have been like??? Take a ride with me, and see how it may have looked like.

Circa .75 B.C (yaba)- Mary is pounding yam for fufu, the angel appears “madam, you go get belle from somewhere abeg, no vex o. E don chose you carry his pikin (child)” he says. “Olodo, na me i no get husband. na wetin wahala be dis now? Abeg go” mary replies. “EEEEYAAAAA, me i don tell you.” poof, the angel disappears.

0 B.C, in Apapa…..Shepherds chilling, angel appears, “oga! how now? see eeh, make you follow that star sef, e go bring you carry go see son of man.” The guys stare back and ask each other…”e dey crase? Na what kind 419 be dis?” At this point, the angel is frustrated and pissed off. What kind of people are these? Patience…..”Ok, abeg, i don get letter from governor saying you go Adeyemo Alakija, see red building get alley for side, enter am you go see pikin na save world” he says……silence from the shepherds….then “anything for your friends sef” the men say. “ARRGGGHHHHH” the angel disappears.

Same time, Adeyemo Alakija, VI, “waaaaaa, waaaaaaa” baby crying. “Where is the semovita??” Mary says staring at Joseph, who replies..”abeg make i grab okada run park and shop buy am..no vex ma!” “carry go” mary shouts. Three wise men show up, and take away all the gold, silver and myrrhh….Naija!!!!!!!

He he he he. Anyway, i havent hought farther than that, but i have thought of the disciples he would choose. I would guess their names as…..Oyemike, Abayomi, Magaji, Shekarau, Ukpo, Abimola, Abayomi, Jide, Kolajo, Opebiyi, Usonegbu and Judas. Seriously, who can replace Judas??? Imagine how it would be if the gospels were written by Magaji, Ukpo, Shekarau and Oyemike? “Lets open Oyemike 2:54….” i wouldnt he he he.

Im not saying that the Nigerians are evil people, but do you imagine getting scriptures like those 419 letters……they’d go like….” From the desk of Magaji…..please allow me spread message today to you about the rest of your life…..” All gospel would end up in deleted items or junk mail.

Lemme shut up…..if you want more, please just request and i will go on….dont mean to offend anyone…..he he he he he.

All of y’all, have a great day.

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~ by jagedin9ja on January 20, 2009.

3 Responses to “Nigeria the motherland??”

  1. haaaa! i swear u de crase! MOOOOO….ORE PLEASE!! This is just too deadly. Lemme foward it to all my pals quick-fast…

  2. me want more

  3. I definetly want more.This had she of Naija decent on the floor in tears.More pulize

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