Ease up guys

Hello,

I’m even scared to write on this blog owing to the silence weve had since the holidays. Sincerely you have to understand that Eddie and I have been running up and down preparing for our cousin Barry’s Inauguration. We seriously have had no time….but now we’re back. i have towrite about my experinces as Barry’s cousin in this Lagos.

First off, the trip to the actual event tomorrow has been cancelled for Eddie and I because we didnt understand some questions at the embassy…..well, on the forms…..see, Eddie answered “yes please” on the ‘Sex’ field, and I, being the wiser, answered “Ewwwwww”. This is not even the worst part…we both were arrogant enough to DEMAND to see the ambassador, after the guy asked us why we thought we deserved to go down for the event….ARE WE NOT HIS COUSINS??? Bull whatever! Anyhow, we cancelled the whole thing.

So after the win, we have been labelled Princes (well, thats what we deem ourselves) and thus we have had a round table meeting with the Nigerians, and decided to let them have the African Cup of Nations, while we (Kenya) keep the world…semms like a fair trade!

Anyhow, after Barry won, we decided to move into a big ass house that befits our status. well, this may have been a mistake coz damn! Moving from the hotel to a house isn’t as easy as we thought.

First off, there’s a gate man we call BABA, from the north, who is as stubborn as the proverbial ass!! he wants things to go his way, and he will thus sabotage all to push his agenda through. The first thing i dont get is that he refuses, TOTALLY  refuses to get our names (eddie and i) and simply calls us Yellow small, and Yellow big…..you guess who is who! The sumumabitch really only knows Oscar by name and everyone else by description. Lemme explain. The house is huge, and therefore we moved in 5 of us. we have Akatu, Oscar, Kathleen, Eddie and I (Anthony). this is what the dumb old man knows us as. Haosa speaking naija man with deep voice like drum say make i pumparam, Oscar, Madam na full wahala, Yellow small na belle dey and Yellow big na belle big well well na Obama!

Seeing the above, you can imagine when he wants to say “Akatu wants me to switch on the Generator”, he says “Haosa speaking naija man with deep voice like drum say make i pumparam say make i on am gen”, or if he says “Kathleen says she doesnt want any trouble(unlikely)” he says “Madam na full wahala make say she no wan wahala” etc…..

Secondly, we have to take on HUGE diesel bills, coz as you may or may not know, 9JA no get light!!! so we have to ration the generator usage since we want to control costs, but im telling you, being from East Africa, we are struggling with this issue, you should have seen Yellow small na belle dey on saturday……he looked like a used condom….he he he he wet and haggardly!!!

Anyhow, as they say in swahili, Mgeni siku ya kwanza……i will stop there for today, and let the info marinate in your systems, then encourage you to check tomorrow for the new update. Sorry for the silence, will not happen again.

By the way, i have a pal back home called Black…this guy is dumb as a door post, and he knows it….he once said to me over christmas ” Anthony, see that woman’s ass, it is wide…..as wide as snow!!!”

JESUS HELP US ALL.

Later guys…

Yellow big na belle big well well na obama!

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~ by jagedin9ja on January 19, 2009.

2 Responses to “Ease up guys”

  1. LOL!
    Wellcome back Yellow big…!

  2. waaaaaaaaaaa this one has made my day……….thanks for making me smile yellow big na belle big

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