North, Nots or Not: Part II

So there I was, at the airport stranded and not having a clue what to do because idiot boy here doesn’t even have a map, doesn’t even know where to look on the map even if I had one. I looked lost, confused and very annoyed. So some bloke comes to me and asks where am going.

‘Where you de go?’ I tell him

Am going to Yola and the flights are full. He pulls me aside and asks me to give him 35,000 naira and extra 5000 naira and I go fly well well. This was a great moment for me, I was happy, overjoyed that I shall get to fulfill my Northern duties, my adventure to be in more than just Lagos. But logic caught up with my elation and doubt kicked in. ‘Oga, how you go get am flight that be fully book o?’ I asked. He paused, a 5 second pause is often a sign of unsurety and his broke eye contact, so I knew I had him. I rushed to one of the men who had ID tags round their necks and asked if the man was credible. I am too smart to be conned, I am. I have intuition, I sense these things. How gullible do they think I am, to promise me a seat of a fully booked flight? You want to take my money, run off and leave me looking a right idiot standing there when all others are boarding eh? Don’t you know am Kenyan!

Apparently, the guy works at the ticket office, and for 5000 naira some poor bastard was going to lose his seat so I could get on board. This is what they do to those who check in late, your booking mysteriously cancels itself. I was not agreeable to it, so I chose to fly to Abuja and bus it to Bauchi then Yola.

Nigeria is funny like that; I shall not refer to it as corruption, but a self serving myopic outlook. If you have money you can do anything to anyone and get away with it- so long as they also don’t have money. So people are always gauging you to see if they can muck around with you. You are compartmentalized based on the car you drive, clothes you wear, level of arrogance and disdain to others you possess. Like the other day, we were all in a Nigerian friend’s car, who is from a very well-to-do family in Lagos. She disobeyed an order to stop (there are no traffic lights in Lagos) so the police stopped us and from what I hear about Lagos police, you don’t mess with these people. But not her, she begun to abuse them, calling them stupid and useless, at this point I knew we were going to be shot. But to my astonishment the police profusely apologized and let us go. She then laughed and said ‘You have to put these people in their place, when you have money no one can touch you.’ Nigeria is very much like Kenya was under Moi, sad.

Back at the airport I manage to secure a flight to Abuja, it was my only option and I had heard several good things about Abuja so I wanted to discover the atmosphere myself, the only downside was that the flight was at 2:30pm, looking at my watch it’s 11am.

Why am I here?



~ by jagedin9ja on December 15, 2008.

2 Responses to “North, Nots or Not: Part II”

  1. hiaya try that in kenya and you’ll see yourself kwa 6×4

  2. So you made it well, huh?

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