A Guide To Naija Men

Water hyacinth is a very malignant weed.  It has tormented fishermen in Lake Victoria and  is slowly maturing on the Lagos waterway.  It thrives in these environments because, as most suspect, it was plucked from its original environment where it was an innocuous member of the ecosystem.  Scientists reckon that without competition, a balance of nature, any harmless organism invariably turns harmful.  And that is the case with Naija men abroad.


Nigerian men are very nice; very polite, respect women, sincere, caring, well dressed, genuinely concerned about others and very kind…but only when in Naija.  I was amazed at the huge difference in demeanor when I came to Lagos.


It’s very rare I consort with men, my facebook can testify to that (I only have female friends), but I find myself slowly comfortable befriending Nigerian men. 

Now before some smart ass goes thinking am gay, sorry am not.  I just wish to guide our Kenyan ladies on the truths, myths and facts about Naija men.


Nigerian men are all about the money.  Unlike Kenyans who like to fight or smack their women around to show they are ‘the one’, Naija boys believe that cash and confidence is what distinguished you from another.


It’s very rare to see fights in Lagos.  The men will shout and shout but not a single fist will be thrown.


What you shall see is a battle of ostentation: big cars, expensive jewelry, designer suits and shoes, and expensive bottles of the finest cognac purchased like soda.


‘Being a chairman is what every man wants.  Flash your money, buy expensive drinks in the club and you shall get respect.’   


So why then, I ask, do they behave so different when in our country?  Why do Nigerian students fight at USIU or at clubs? 


‘You see in Naija there are very many rich people.’


By rich, they mean very rich!  Abeg, a rich person in Lagos has a personal helicopter, about 5 luxury cars, a yatch and a 10 bedroom mansion.  Wwhen you hear someone is rich in Naija, you know they mean rich. Oil has brought so much wealth to this country and certain individuals who own oil fields earn $10 million a day I was told.  Ngaiiii


‘You see in Naija there are many rich people so not everyone can compete, so they run off to other countries so to be big there.’


But back at home, they are very well behaved.


Nigeria has 3 dominant tribes: Ibo, Yoruba and Hausa.


Ibo girls, for the male readers, are very materialistic.  They love money.  Love is not a priority for these ladies.  They are very educated, exposed and very ambitious.  Apprentice Africa Blessing and Michelle are Ibo.


The men have very good business acumen, well educated and very wealthy.  However, they are extremely arrogant, outrageously possessive and often violent.  They are also very stingy with their money.


‘They would rather buy for you something than give you the money to buy it.’


As for fidelity, ‘An Ibo man will marry one wife, but shall never bring his mistress home.’


Lagos is known as the commercial city of excellence, it’s the capital city of business in Nigeria (the former capital city) and there is plenty money circulating here.  In as much as Lagos is on Yoruba territory , Ibos dominate the financial realm of Lagos.


‘Ibos are everywhere, and hold top jobs.  Throw a stone in Lagos and it shall land on an Ibo.  If you tell an Ibo man that a plot is going for 5 million Naira, he will pay you 10 million, just to show he has money.’


The Yoruba girls believe in love.  They don’t chase money, but are lead love.  They are not often well educated or exposed to other cultures as they tend to be very cultural.


‘Yoruba girls believe in love, that I why they keep falling for any man that gives them attention and have babies with different men.  This child is with that man, that child belongs to another man, the third child to the current husband and when she sees another man she shall move to him.’  


As you can guess, an Ibo was giving me this information, the two tribes don’t get along very well.


As for the Yoruba man, they tend to be very smooth, well dressed, charming, very polite and are true pacifists.  Apprentice Africa Tunde is Youruba.


‘A Yoruba man will spoil a lady, give her what she want, but he will be doing so to 3 other women at the same.  Yoruba men often have 3 wives, and the women don’t mind because they also cheat on their husbands.’


Yoruba men tend to avoid any form of conflict or aggression.  A Yoruba man will start a family at a very early age and shall do his best to provide for them.


The Hausa are just like the Arabs or Waswahili back home.


So now you know, choose wisely.




~ by jagedin9ja on November 24, 2008.

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