HOOT!!!!! And the miracle button

9ja Boys

9ja Boys

Good people!!!

How far my people?? That’s Nigerians for how are you doing. You all should have seen how Eddie and I messed up with the answer. See, when a guy asks you “how far?” you answer “I dey o!” I remember Eddie once answering, “Well, it’s near the Indian ocean in East Africa” imagine the look of bewilderment on Tolu’s face!!!

Anyhow, obviously, we’re now 9ja boys, in fact, we’re dressed the part even, as seen above!!! Snazzy huh? Today, we must chop eba abeg (eat fufu food). We most probably will have to eat that with their vegetable stew that has FISH BONES in it. Now we all know if someone tells you that the food on the plate is sukumawiki (or kales for the non East Africans) to be eaten via a steaming mass of starch, that means the game is open….eat like a homeless guy with your hand. Try that here and you’ll get injuries in your mouth, and even hands from bloody fish bones!

So today I tell you of the wonder button. I pray that this button NEVER gets to Kenya. Here, it’s virtually impossible to think on the road. Every time you try thinking on the road in Lagos, this is the output you get…”DUUUUUHHHHHHH” I’m telling you. All this is because of the wonder button.

INTRO- The wonder button was created by UYB Ltd (Under Your Butt), for the purposes of annoying people into action. This button has been bought far and wide in Lagos, and maybe the rest of Nigeria. It is what most people in the transport industry believe will get them to their destinations. It is the Horn in the seat Wonder Button.

I’ believe Nigerians are sharp people, and the Founder/President of UYB Ltd must have been a visionary extraordinaire! I guess he noticed that bending backwards to put your ass on the horn wasn’t going to work very well in modern society. So he made the button. And what a success. He can now retire early.

I guess by now I mean that the hooting here is INSANE!!! It’s like a taboo to not hoot. The roads here are full of mad drivers hooting like their lives depend on it. I just don’t get it! What happens to these learned people when they get behind the wheel? It’s like the car door is a portal leading to 1000 BC. Neanderthalic and primitive sense usurp common sense. They hoot and hoot and hoot!!!!! If there’s a spot of traffic – peep peep peep!!! Kai! I can’t live like this. People need to stop this. Today I got onto an Okada and the second he started moving, the bugger started hooting like crazy!!! ON AN EMPTY STREET!!! Was it necessary you ask??? NO!!!!! What was he hooting at??? the flies??? AAARRRGGGHHHHH!!!!!

Maybe these guys have delusions of grandeur!!!!!

Damn you founder of UYB, Damn you

Have a quiet stroll today and say a prayer for Eddie and me, Kenyans in the middle of noisy chaos!

Anthony

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~ by jagedin9ja on November 14, 2008.

3 Responses to “HOOT!!!!! And the miracle button”

  1. Lol! I heard about the same hooting thing from a pal of mine who was there for like 2 weeks. He couldn’t wait to get back to Kenya. That noise is just insane. . .
    No worries, a prayer will be whispered for Your sanity. .

  2. i dey o? *dead*

    perhaps the okada man thought a siren was fit for a man of great stature [you] being ferried on an okada announcing to the world that you were coming and they had better stay the f*** off the road, flies included.

    ear plugs, anyone?

  3. now this is the time to appreciate the little peace and quietness of Kenya

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