Communication Breakdown!!!! paragasha and hunger!

Morning all.

Today is a rare day in Lagos, its overcast with slight chances of showers….he he he…I feel like a weather reporter…Nguata Francis!! Anyway it’s off to a very dull day, the sun hasn’t even peeped yet through the clouds…the influence of this is even clear in the office. Everyone’s dull as the color grey!

But it’s good to have another day to talk to my people, and pass on my experiences to y’all because me I fail to understand some things. This day I will talk of the communication barrier between guys, predominantly in the service industry, and Eddie and I.

So the other day at the hotel, I was resting in bed and I got thirsty. I then decided, “Let me have a drink”. I proceeded to call room service and I KNOW I said I wanted APPLE juice. Easy peasy! No problem they said. Ten minutes later (what service) I heard a knock on the door, opened and there stood the waitress, holding a bottle of SPRITE….APPLE JUICE – SPRITE??? I don’t get easily annoyed so I explained to her I wanted apple juice. She left I assumed to get the juice.

Ten minutes after the gaffe, still nothing. I called again and asked after my juice, and I was told “Sir, I thought you said no juice”. Patiently I said I would like some juice. Five minutes later, here is the same girl, with PINEAPPLE and MANGO juice. At this point I would even have settled for POISONED juice….I was thirsty. I accepted and signed for it albeit begrudgingly.

Isolated event?? Unlikely!!!!! See, the lingua here is totally different from the one in East Africa. Back home don’t means don’t right??? Another day I remember saying “I don’t want Africa magic on my TV screen” I was subjected to hours of idikoko and indumule for the whole night (and this movie with a midget and a normal sized girl, who were in love,….plus a romantic scene….this is a story for another day)……anyway I think the guy heard “I don want Africa Magic” which loosely translates to I WANT AFRICA MAGIC. Pidgin sucks!!!

The peak of this language disparity and confusion, the reason I decided to write about it, was what happened to me yesterday at the cafeteria at work……. Please listen to me before leaving this blog…….pay attention……. So I’m in the cafeteria line, and I spot this really good looking piece of fried drumstick. I hold off all competition in the line to acquire said piece, and an extra piece of chicken armpit…or is that wing…I don’t know…..and some jollof rice…YUMMY!!! Anyhow, the food is in buffet style setting, but it’s cold. This is the norm…I’m used to it. I then go to the cafeteria side window, pass the plate in, and say to the guy, whilst sending a text, “heat my food for me” (obviously, implied, in the microwave) I continue sending my text, finished, only to see an acquaintance on the line beside me. I proceeded to strike a conversation with him, and then five minutes later, I realize my food hadn’t come back from the microwave.

I asked after the guy I had given the plate to and they pointed him out to me. The guy was seated in the farthest corner of the cafeteria kitchen, grin on face, napkin in collar, knife and fork in hand…..EATING MY FOOD FOR ME!!!!

NUFF SAID!!!!

Hungry Anthony

~ by jagedin9ja on November 13, 2008.